Lengthy adoption process leads to ‘instant love’ for Oahu family

HONOLULU (HawaiiNewsNow) – When it comes to starting a family, same-sex couples have options in Hawaii. However, challenges still exist in some states across the nation.

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The home of Greg Harris and Randy Minas is now filled with little footsteps, diapers, bottles of baby formula, and children’s toys.

“Every family looks different and our family is strong and we’re giving her love,” Minas said.

They embarked on their adoption journey in 2022 with an agency licensed in Hawaii and California. A social worker met with them several times as they worked to meet the strict eligibility standards for adoption.

“We had to be fingerprinted and background checked and all those sorts of things. We went through a couple of seminars on raising a child,” Harris said.

It wasn’t an easy process. As the years passed, they faced multiple rejections.

“We were starting to think, ‘Hey, this might not happen.’ And then we got a text one night in September of last year, saying, ‘Are you interested in adopting a little one in San Francisco?’”

They were finally chosen, and their lives changed.

In the blink of an eye, they were on a plane to the city by the bay as their soon-to-be daughter, Kody, started her life in the NICU.

“We’re standing at the NICU door, I was the scared-est I’ve ever been, ready to hit that button,” Minas recalled. “I was terrified but then, as soon as I saw her it was like instant love.”

Not only was it a long journey that tested their patience and their hopes, it also was an expensive one.

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“The whole journey’s cost around probably $50,000,” Minas said.

There were agency fees, legal costs, travel, and home inspections. They had to childproof it to make sure it was a safe environment, which included installing a safety barrier around their pool.

While same-sex adoptions have been legal nationwide in the U.S. since 2016, loopholes allowing orientation-based discrimination still exist.

“It shouldn’t be any more difficult for a same-sex couple,” said Kristine Altwies, A Family Tree CEO and Pono Roots clinical director.

At least 16 states allow couples to be turned away if the agencies argue it conflicts with religious beliefs. Several other states, simply don’t have non-discrimination laws preventing it.

“Surround yourself with people who support you. Find an agency that is open and inclusive. Haters are going to hate, you know, and we just can’t go there, because you are either going to be accepted and supported or you’re not. And if you’re not, you know you have nothing to do with that organization. You don’t need them,” Altwies said.

Little Kody recently celebrated her first birthday. Her fathers say her adoption is close to being finalized, and now, they can’t imagine their lives without her.

“I feel like we look like any other family. We are teaching her, helping her grow, helping her learn, showing her love every day. I think that’s what matters,” Harris said.

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